The Stranded Cutter

Right, introductions. Let's do this. I'm Cutter, shipwrecked pirate extraordinaire. Happened after a long stint as a master engineer on the fair Nautilus.

You're a pirate?

Indeed! Pirate by name, pirate by nature. However, I'm a perfectly civil sort of pirate. No walking planks or shivering me timbers or such around here. Nothing to fear from me, not at all.

(He certainly sounds nice enough.)

You want to know how I ended up here? Yes, I suppose there isn't too much else to discuss, is there? It's a long story, filled with action and drama. I suppose I could spare the time to tell it if you wanted... Okay, you don't have to twist my arm. Let's see here, it was a dark and stormy night...

(You never said a word.)

This is an extremely long story, so listen carefully.

I was working aboard the Nautilus, at the time. I designed her, you know. That boat? All me, right here. I'm a weapons designer, you see. Best kind of engineering. Things blow up, but they're supposed to. Great excuse. I was serving under Captain Kyrin, working on a secret project for her.

She charged me with designing a new personal weapon that could make the pirates the most powerful fighters in Maple World. Can you imagine that? Pirates with a new super weapon? We'd have pirates everywhere, running the world. Free eye patches and rum for everyone! Good times.

I'll tell you, it wasn't an easy thing, but I never do things the easy way. Easy is boring. I challenged myself...and I DID IT! Oh, it was glorious. Perfect accuracy, high rate of fire, devastating damage. Thing of beauty. There was just one problem.

The darn thing was too heavy! All that perfection came at a price, and that price was all the extra plating and casing it needed. Strip that off, and it turns back into a regular pea-shooter. And let me tell you, pea-shooting does not make a super weapon.

But hey, I thought, I'm Cutter! I'm the best darn engineer in the fleet! So I got back to work, and sure enough, I solved my own problem. I got that sucker down to a tenth of its original weight! Still a bit of a beast to hold, but better than nothing, right? So, says I, time for a little test.

I had to go out to sea to test it. I tried firing the first one at a brick wall and, well, there happened to be a barn about a mile past the wall... Anyway, sea's much safer. No sheep to explode. I hopped in one of our little boats and headed out into the deep sea.

The tests were beautiful. Glorious. It was the dawn of a new age of blowing things up. I was so excited...well, I didn't see the rocks until it was too late. I can only assume the boat was smashed to splinters.

I woke up on this island after...heck, I have no idea. Ahh, it's a cryin' shame, it is. I never even got to show Kyrin the working prototype. All that work... If I could only get off this island...

Eh? What was that? Ghosts? Hm... Oh, are you not interested in my story anymore?