The Great Moustachiolanche

I can't go outside like this. It's unseemly! My face looks like a raw pile of bread dough without the 'stache! You have to help me.

Those delivery drivers must have lost my package! Go find it! I bet they took it to the Secluded Park. They always do that. You could also check the Dust Box... just... bring every Delivery Box you find! I don't care who it belongs to.

What sort of hairless wasteland are you trying to bring about?!

Find it! You have to find it! Why aren't you finding it!?